the mall....arghhh!

I would like to go to the mall and avoid these three questions:

1. Are you satisfied with your cell service?

2. Can I ask you a question?

3. Would you like to try this hand lotion or body massager?

The mall has become and obstacle course of questions for those tiny little selling kiosk's. I feel like I have to be a cold-hearted woman just to get through the mall without inquiries into every area of my life, including my hair!

And now there is that crazy guy smoking a fake cigarette. Have you all seen him? It looks like a real cigarette and even blows some type of smoke or steam. I'll give him props, he's trying to get people to quit smoking, but it's just another distraction in an already unpredictable trip for a mom.

Here's my responses to the questions:

1. I am satisfied. But if you're willing to give me a free phone and the exact same service for $20 less a month, I'll take it.

2. No you cannot ask me a question. I know you want to know why I don't straighten my curly hair, but really, is it not okay to have curly hair? I just didn't want to take the extra time today to do it and can't you see it's raining outside, every curly haired woman's arch nemesis. And don't act like you want to have a conversation with me. Can you see I have children? And they have a lollipop in their mouth. I only have until this thing is done and them I'm done. Stop distracting me from my mission.

3. If I wanted to buy your body product, I would just walk up to you and buy it. And if it was really good, I would see it in Sephora or some other beauty store. Face it, the product might not be that good if you are slumming for people in the mall.

I love the Tupperware lady. She sits and reads and knows she has a reliable, long standing product that will sell itself. She smiles and will offer to kindly move off her stool if you are actually interested in buying the product. That's the way the mall should be.

Will someone please pass on the memo to these people that you do not talk to moms with small children in a stroller or small children within a 15 ft radius of them. They don't have time. They are streamlined, efficient and ready to get on with it and these sales people are just slowing them down.