the wall

There comes a point in every new mama where you hit "the wall". For some this is just a day, for others, a season.

I hit my wall last night. And it seems the rest of my family is hitting theirs today. Last night I was overcome with emotion, sleep-deprivation, and thoughts of how I'm going to navigate through this. Today, Lily lost it in a way I've never seen, leading me to believe she hit her's. And then Dave this afternoon. He is out spending some time alone regaining his mental state as well. Eloise has yet to hit her's, and very well may not.

The best advice a fellow, seasoned mama gave me, (Jenny) was to give myself the first 6 weeks. In those first 6 weeks don't think about schedule, don't think about feeding, just survive. At 6 weeks, come up for air and look realistically at what you are ready to take on. But before that time, just survive. This has been the best advice and I've passed it onto many a friend. So you would think that I would take it to heart, right? It takes me just as much energy to put it into practice as anyone else.

So I give myself grace. Today and everyday. I will get through this time. We will all adjust to a new normal at some point and at that point there will be complete peace in a new way. For now I just snuggle, sleep when I can, discipline the best that I know how in the moment, and leave the dishes for another day. They won't be small forever, they won't be able to fit in the crook of my arm or play carefree as sisters. I pray I will enjoy each and every moment to the fullest.