Ministry again?

First, Lily got her first tooth! A possible reason for sleepless nights? I doubt it, but we're happy to be welcoming teeth into the family.

This week Dave and I have become more aware of how all consuming raising children can be. With the frustration of a non-sleeping baby and non-sleeping parents (eloise is getting a good 13 hrs of sleep a day) we are frazzeled to say the least. So it takes very little for us to become aggitated with one another.

We came up with a plan. We need us time and individual alone time. We need to have those moments of renewal or we will continue to head down a path that isn't edifying.

Today a new item to add to the plate. Dave meets with our head pastor, Dwight Steele. They have been meeting weekly since Dave started his process out of the youth pastor position. Today he asked Dave to teach one of the new elective courses they are planning at Montavilla.

First, some background. Montavilla is a slow to change church. The sunday school class structure isn't necessarily conducive to jumping in as a newbie. It's demographically designed. Very funky. So having them offer elective classes at the end of this month is huge. All the young people in our church have been moving about and praying for change. This is one small step in that direction.

I'm so excited that Dwight would think of Dave for this job. However, I am very hesitant to walk back into this territory for a few reasons.

1. This makes us (dave) very vulnerable to criticism. Having been a pastor's wife, there is nothing more heartbreaking and infuriating than people putting down your husband or asking of them beyond what they are able to give. I don't think I could watch Dave be criticized again. It almost makes me want to cry right now remembering things from before.

2. It means that we need to take more time out for Dave to study. I have no problem taking on more time with the kids. It means I need to be even more intentional about taking time out for myself.

3. the spiritual warfare. When God's people are working and succeeding in ministry, Satan takes his opportunity to de-rail. It's happened before and I feel even more vulnerable as a mom who is pulled in many different directions.

4. the cheerleader. When/If dave steps into this role. I need to be an encourager like never before. I need to help build his confidence again, pray for him, give him feedback, support him, listen to him, do any administrative for him, etc.

I never imagined how emotional I would feel about this. I really want him to do it because I believe the Lord is asking us to be more involved. But I don't want what will go with it. And maybe I'll be surprised. Maybe this time it will be different. But it will take going through this experience to prove that. I need to pray and seek Gods heart and mind.