links

::I mentioned my thoughts of eating and sugar. This article was interesting and some good thoughts. Eloise is still afraid of seasoning in her food (basil, green onion, flecks of anything green).

::Felted wool laptop bag...very cute!

::I've always wanted a husband who was handy enough to build this. Maybe I can rent one. :)

::i want to do these for my room

::YUM!

::this looks beautiful

Have a great first weekend of Spring!

hearts of thankfulness

Thurdsay, we were driving to a friend's house for dinner.

In the back I hear Lily, "Mama, please answer me!"

me: "Sorry. I didn't know you were talking to me"

Lily: "Great job turning your wipers on" (it was raining)

me: "oh thanks Lil".

Eloise: "Ya, and thanks for being so safe while you drive us".

I was beaming. Even though they were two very insignificant compliments, they were compliments. And that is a sign, to me, of gratitude and I love it.

Linky loo

I think I might have an addiction to links, not kidding.

**I made these this week. But I added chopped peanuts, whole flax seed, wheat germ, and I skipped the M&M's. The girls loved it and dave took them to work. Mine didn't totally set. I think I might have needed to add something more with the extra ingredients. But at least it's a good start.

**We made Easter bunnies out of TP rolls this week. Crafts make me want to break out in hives, so I'm considering this a great start.

**I'm in love with Asian chicken lettuce wraps with peanut sauce. LOVE THEM! I couldn't find the recipe I use online to link to it, but people tell me that P.F. Chang's has some pretty good ones.

**Making some baby food, looking at these few sites.

**I might be able to try this craft...very cute!

**I'm itching to make this bread

first born daughter

It's rest time -- the most peaceful part of my day. On days when all three kids are down, it's a time to forget about dishes/chores and focus on thinking, praying, and sitting in silence. No TV, music, or other such distractions (besides the computer, today, b/c I'm obviously on it).

I have a nagging thought tapping on my shoulder lately. It was heightened today with a dramatic little 4 year old meltdown.

That thought is -- How can I model grace to Eloise when i really don't want to?

Eloise is my sweet, loving, longing to please, emotional, first born daughter. She is like me in so many ways, but might have gotten Dave's lack of patience. Or it could just be that she's 4 and life feels stacked against her.

When she gets in these modes of drama or emotions, it takes me to a place of pure frustration. When it's a leg that hurts and she can't describe the type of pain and there has been no obvious injury, when she feels slighted by her sister taking something from her or hitting her (as Lily is often known to do), or when she just can't get something to work. It's at that time that I have absolutely NO IDEA what to do.

If I was the mom of just her, I feel like my focus could be on figuring out the problem. But when I have another crazy, just as emotional 3 yr old and a 7 month old begging to be held, the problem escalates quickly.

I snap at her. I tell her I'm frustrated and I try as hard as I can to keep the lid tight so I don't explode. She asks me if I'm mad at her. I tell her no and explain that I'm really frustrated. I know she doesn't get it.

Mustering up grace at that moment is painful and every part of my being doesn't want to give it to her. And then i remember that I'm shaping her. I teach her about grace. I model it. My words are the words that she will use on her siblings or friends. They are my actions that will be acted out. If she doesn't learn some acceptable ways to respond to a stressful situation, shes going to end up acting out the wrong one.

I see it in Dave. His dad did not model a healthy way how to deal with frustration. He spends ALOT of time working on how to correct that. And often times the default setting takes over. I don't want Eloise's default setting to be my mistake.

I realize at this time that I'm not perfect and I'm going to get this parenting gig wrong. But I want to put my best foot forward. I know, KNOW, that the most important concept for her to take away is LOVE and I want her to know without a shadow of a doubt that I find favor in her and I love her despite her faults.

My goal this week is to look for ways to let her know I love her and hope that those positive interactions outshine the negative.

sam

A little fun with this little almost 7 month old...he sure is cute. and I sure look tired.

ramblings

I've had several thoughts milling about for the last couple of weeks. I can finally think straight so that might be why. Here they are:

::thinking alot about my relationship with Eloise. She is my first born and I'm often times hardest on her. I'm sensitive to her and want to make sure that my impact on her is positive and encouraging. So if she is still peeing the bed and it's annoying to change sheets, I have to remember that she wants this just as badly as I do. No need for extra discouragement. (BTW - I've tried everything. literally everything. next might bed a bed wetting alarm, but we'll wait until she is 6)

::I've got sugar on the brain. Everyone says it's bad for you. I've heard it a trillion times. But why, what does it really do to our bodies that makes it so horrible? Addiction might be the first thing, but coffee does that too. I know everything in moderation is good and I believe that sugar falls into that category. I grew up with no sugar. Very organic without my parents calling it that. Farm raised beef, eggs, dried fruit, balanced meals, only home baked goods, etc. We only got sugared cereal on special breaks (spring break, christmas break, etc). I'm no less a sucker for sugar than the next person. So I'm not convinced that giving our kids the best food now will make them great eaters later. Not that I'm not going to give them good food, but I just don't think it seals the deal. (just my opinion, no negative comments here, I still see the value of good food, don't worry)

::in this thinking of food, it leads me to health. Eloise is at the age where she really wants to get involved in an activity/sport. I'm searching to see what might be a good start. Dance doesn't seem to be her gig (more Lily's), she really wants to ice skate though. We'll see.

::TV. Love it/hate it. I'm learning to use it wisely.

::Sam is almost 7 months and he is the cutest thing in the world to look it. He's sitting up on his own but Eloise likes to come to the rescue and help him.

::With that 7 month mark comes my deep breath time. At 8 month's old is when I finally start to take deep breaths. We made it! They are almost feeding themselves small pieces of food and showing signs of talking and uber cuteness. An independence. But still very much dependent. I do not miss those baby days one bit.

::Even though those baby days will never come again. I made the dreaded appointment for Dave. He turns white every time I mention the 'V' word. It is what it is. My family feels complete and it's good to start moving forward with life.

::thinking about signing up for a 5K, walking, of course. Running makes me want to pass out just thinking about it.

::I'm thinking about it b/c the endocrinologist I saw last week made a comment about my stretch marks when she was doing an exam of my abdomen. They are apparent and that is being kind to myself. She said, "Your husband needs to get you a tummy tuck". Not gonna lie, felt like I was 15 again and someone made a comment about how much I've "grown". Tummy tuck would be awesome b/c my stomach will never go back again, but it's life. It's having babies.

Our dryer has been dying a slow death for quite some time now. First it took 70 minutes to dry, then 80, then 150 minutes. I do 4 people's laundry (Dave does his own, by his own choice, which I gladly support) and it was taking me ALLLLLLL day and some of the next.

I'm a big Craigslist person. Six months ago, our dishwasher went out and I just happened to check out CL in the off chance that there might be something. A woman was selling a stainless, almost brand new dishwasher b/c her husband was remodeling the kitchen. So he was replacing the "old" one that she never used in the first place. $100. Sold. New fabulous dishwasher. I love it.

So I thought there might be a dryer out there on CL with my name on it. I looked for a month. People usually sell them as sets and we didn't need a washer.

Scrolling through, I found my moms washer and dryer on there for a 1/3 of what she paid. I thought it was interesting and moved on.

I called my mom and told her and she said I should definitely go look at it. No. But maybe., ust maybe.

We got home for church the next day, I ran to my computer, called the guy and he still had it. We rushed up to Vancouver and it looked great. I talked him down. An amazing deal. And he delivered it.

It was installed, ready to go, and before I knew it Dave was shoving his laundry in. He beat me! I've never seen the guy move that fast.

Once the load was started we all just stood around and stared. It was hilarious.

I love these things. LOVE them. Every time I walk out to my garage, I smile.