Reflections on 2010

2010 always sounded like we'd be living in a space age era with hovercars.  Not so much.  2010 was an interesting year for our family that provided good things.

I found these questions over at (In)Courage that offers a great format for reflecting on the year.

20 Questions for a New Year’s Eve Reflection

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
**Dave getting a job.  We started off the year unemployed and ended it in job that could have only been orchestrated by the Lord.  It has been new, challenging, and sometime uncomfortable to work through the learning curve, but we believe the Lord didn't design us for comfort and teaches us great things through struggles.
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
**Managing 3 kids in a new schedule (Dave's hours were drastically different from before).  It has been a challenge to raise 3 littles and keep my wits about me at the same time. Being diagnosed with Graves' disease.  It was a challenge to work through before I knew I had it.
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
**the job - getting a pretty clear picture of the main even of the year
4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
**Working out the details and expenses of Dave's dad care and move to LA and then him unexpectedly dying the week he arrives.  It was a shock.  We had so many ideas about the good things that would come from this move and to have it end abruptly was not something anyone was prepared for.  We grieve mostly for his sister who was more than excited about this move.
5. Pick three words to describe 2010.
**Challenging, Growing, Deepening 
(I took out two questions here)
8. What were the best books you read this year?
**The Help!  Hands down the BEST book.
9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
 **Okay, this one is tough.  I feel overly blessed and humbled by my friends.  Each and every one of them adds value to my life.  I mean, my list would be off the page and I'd have to describe what I love about every single one.  Let's just leave it with - I love all my friends deeply and value them all uniquely. (hope that doesn't sound passive)
10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
**Gluttony!  I learned more about my eating this year than anything else.  I learned what happens when I'm gluttonous and how it affects my relationship with my children and husband.  I draw on it almost everyday and I continue to learn from it.
11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
**I figured out ways to handle my frustrating with my children better.  I learned that teaching them a lesson in the moment of frustration or anger does nothing.  I learned that love teaches much more and that to teach a child, dominating anger will not work, it crushes and my goal as a mama is not to crush the spirit, it's to encourage it.  I want my children to know they are loved at all times, they just might not get away with what they think they should.  And that can be communicated with a smile on my face.
12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
**It was all tied into gluttony.  I need help to conquer these types of struggles and that I do alot of asking and now it needs to move onto seeking the Lord in scripture (goal for 2011)
13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
**the just makes me want to write a snide remark :)  I don't know.
14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
**I learned to think and wait before speaking.  That often times emotions are added to the mix and they will make a situation work.  I learned to not ask so many questions and instead ask only those that are important and not just to tickle my curiosity.
15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
**I'm now working for Angela at Frugal Living NW.  I love being able to work from home and there are a ton of creative outlets.
16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
**Eloise, Lily, and Sam.  
17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
**the computer, isn't that every moms?
18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
**just sitting with my kids and playing (I'm not very good at that)
19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
**I think we already covered this...gluttony and trust
20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2010 for you.
**Full on the right things.  Cheesy, but true.

Christmas activities

One of the best things we did this Christmas was re-enact the birth of baby Jesus.  I saw the idea over at Impress Your Kids and we had a little time to spare before we went out one evening, so we went with it.

Eloise was Mary, post birth, in the stable.  Lily was pregnant Mary, on the journey to Bethlehem.  Sam was a stragler.  Here's how their story went. 

Both Mary's prepared for the journey, pictures before leaving.

 They managed to lay down and get some rest before leaving.

 Then they began the journey to Bethlehem,

 on the path Lily created with all the pillows and blankets.

 They arrived at the stable, animals watching,

 

 where Mary gave birth to baby Jesus. (sorry for the blurry picture)

 Then she laid him in the manger.

 And Sam just looked cute the entire time.

 It was a really fun way for us to bring the story to a level where they could understand it more.  Next year the girls told us that mom and dad would be Mary and Joseph and Sam will be baby Jesus.  Eloise and Lily will be playing the part of the angels. 

catching up

it's been a while..yet again.

*Eloise is 5.  She napped 2 hours today.  She's still up (it's 9:30) and I'm pretty sure she'll be up until midnight.

*Do you know how hard it was to wake her from that nap?  It took several trips into our room, me turning on the light and Sam jumping on top of her head.  She wasn't too happy about the head jumping.  But he did start calling her "EZ" for Weezy.  These two are BFF's


*Sam is starting to talk more.  It's weird to have a non-verbal kid following to VERY verbal daughters.  There is alot more whining and tantrum throwing.  I guess that's what you have to do when you don't have any words to use.

*We cut Sam's hair for the first time last night.  I pinned him in my lap, Dave cut and the girls tried to crowd around in our tiny bathroom.  It was like two people trying to wrangle a slippery pig, crying and squealing included.  I should have put a lollipop in his mouth.  Oh well, no he no longer has a baby mullet.

*Eloise needs to get her hair cut too but can't decide between short or long.

*Eloise has preferences...who knew?!  She will only wear skirts with tights (the ones with feet, not he cute ones with leggings) and has an hour long dialogue with me about what type of coat to wear.  It was incredibly frustrating to deal with at first.  She has so many cute pants and really, if it's cold out, wear a coat.  But, I realized that she has preferences. She's becoming her own person and wants to have an opinion about what she wears.  It's going to happen sooner or later, so why not make it an enjoyable process for the both of us instead of a battle. We'll take a trip to a cute store, (my choosing, of course) and let her pick out some cute skirts and tights we both love.  Problem solved.

*I took Lily and Eloise seperately to buy gifts for each other.  They each had $5 to spend and it had to be something the other person liked.  Eloise had so much finding something for Lily and Lily had so much fun finding things for herself.  We had to do some prep work helping Lily learn how to keep a secret.  So far, so good. 

*As for the gifts, Eloise picked out a small doggie for Lily and Lily picked out a pretty bracelet for Eloise.  Cute!

*We made Christmas cookies the other day.  All my sprinkles are gone.  But what's a sugar cookie without a lb of colored sugar on top?

links

I haven't linked for a while so I thought I would share some of my favorites.

*This thai peanut noodles is delicious.  I'm loving this so much that I just might have it every night.  I've made it with both tofu and chicken - of course everyone else in the family prefers chicken.  Really, what's so bad about tofu?

*I'm passionate about our culture of extreme parenting and how it affects mother's and their relationships with other mother's and their children.  I absolutely loved this article on engineering perfect children. 

...You know the child I am talking about: precious, wide-eyed, over-cared-for, fussy, in a beautiful sweater, or a carefully hipsterish T-shirt. Have we done him a favor by protecting him from everything, from dirt and dust and violence and sugar and boredom and egg whites and mean children who steal his plastic dinosaurs, from, in short, the everyday banging-up of the universe? The wooden toys that tastefully surround him, the all-sacrificing, well-meaning parents, with a library of books on how to make him turn out correctly— is all of it actually harming or denaturing him? ...

*Thanks to Cutzi, I made these Pumpkin Cinnamon rolls.  I made them in my bread machine using the dough setting.  Dave actually said they were one of the best he'd ever had. I saw this list of pumpkin recipes and I just couldn't help sampling a few.

*And here's a Thanksgiving printable we think is pretty cute.

Have a great Thanksgiving!  We have much to be thankful for.

Super great cookies.

Dairy and my digestive system don't get along all that well.  (bet you wanted to hear that, huh?) So, I've been trying to make some changes.  We currently drink lactose-free milk which helps all of us (and yes, all you raw milk drinkers, I've heard it helps.  I'll buy into it someday.)  But I'm starting to notice some other dairy foods make me free pretty awful.  So begins the elimination of dairy journey.  Super fun, huh?

I found this blog, Oh She Glows.  Most of her recipes are vegan and at first, sound a bit strange. But, I wanted to try a few a see what they were like.

First, I tried the Pumpkin Pie Banana chunk oatmeal cookies.  So good!  Everyone devoured these.  They are like a breakfast cookie.
Note: don't put them in a ziploc bag.  They will get really soft.  The counter makes them a great consistency.

Here's my modified recipe: (I omitted the banana, I didn't have any on hand)

1 Flax ‘egg’ (2 tsp. ground flaxseed + 2 tablespoons water)
1 cup regular oats
1 cup Barley flour (or whole wheat flour)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
2 tbsp mini chocolate chips
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup pure maple syrup (just got a sweet deal on Amazon)
3/4 cup canned pumpkin

Directions: Preheat the oven to 375F. Mix flax egg in a small bowl and set aside. Mix dry ingredients in a medium sized bowl and set aside. Mix wet ingredients in a small to medium sized bowl and then add flax egg. Stir. Pour wet mixture into dry ingredients. Stir well and shape cookies onto a pan. Makes 12 large cookies. Cook for 13 minutes at 375F.

Then I tried the Pumpkin Pie Monster smoothie.  The almond milk is taking some adjustment and the kids definitely didn't like it and Dave would even look at it b/c his face once got shoved into a pumpkin pie and it makes him dry heave now.  But I managed to get it down.

Some have mentioned using tablets to help ease the dairy intolerance, but I'd rather just adjust my eating so that I don't have to take a tablet before every meal that includes a dairy product.  I'm eating more vegetables and fruit as a result which is a great thing for a former vegetable hater.

I've really enjoyed following Oh She Glows.  I love that she has worked through her negative relationship with food and has arrived loving to cook and work out.  Something I'm aspiring too.

*And just to tack this on because I just read it, we're totally doing the "day" thing (you have to read it).  And I'm going to be fun!!!

Favorite recipe

I've found a great recipe that works well for all family members (except Sam, he doesn't eat anything except carbs).  It's really easy and delicious.

Hearty Pita Tacos
From Taste of Home - Healthy Cooking

• 1 pound lean ground beef (I use ground turkey)
• 1 small sweet red pepper, chopped
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 1 can (16 ounces) pinto beans, rinsed and drained
• 3/4 cup frozen corn
• 2/3 cup taco sauce
• 1 can (2-1/4 ounces) sliced ripe olives, drained
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
• 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
• 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 6 whole wheat pita pocket halves
• 6 tablespoons shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese
• Sliced avocado and additional taco sauce, optional

Directions:

• In a large skillet, cook the beef, red pepper and onions over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in the beans, corn, taco sauce, olives and seasonings; heat through.
• Spoon 3/4 cup beef mixture into each pita half. Sprinkle with cheese. Serve with avocado and additional taco sauce if desired. Yield: 6 servings.

My notes:
I usually make my own pitas, but store bought are good also.  I also add shredded lettuce.  If I don't have time to get all the spices out I just use 2 tsp of taco seasoning.

weighty issue (pardon the pun!)

So many thoughts milling about my brain so I'm just going to throw them out and hope they make sense.

I have a poor self-image.  (how's that for starting out?!)  If someone were to compliment me on my skills (organized, efficient), I would feel over the moon.  That would encourage me the most.  If someone were to compliment me on my looks, it makes me want to crawl out of my skin.  Why? Not sure, but it seems like a good time to tackle it b/c I've got two tiny girls that are growing up fast and their watching what I'm doing.  And how I respond to myself is how they will respond.

So how did I realize this?  We had pictures done in the park the other day.  It was a perfect afternoon.  The not so perfect part - the location.  The day was beautiful.  But we were in a park.  Rule #1: NEVER, and I mean NEVER, have your children's pictures taken in a park with a playground.  They are distracted and unable to focus on the task at hand.  They're 1,3 & 5.  Makes total sense.  I wouldn't be able to focus either if my mother never took me to parks.
No one would look at the camera, Sam was incredibly cranky and I was getting more and more anxious by the minute.  The flow was not happening.  Finally, the day was finished.  Here's just one example of this day was NOT flowing (gotta love that scream)

 On the way home Eloise threw up in the car from being carsick, Sam gagging himself and Lily watched on in horror as I'm frantically begging her not to have a sympathy throw up.  Once we got home, my first response was to eat myself silly from all the anxiety.  Or bake.  I resisted both but it brought up a good point that this is not the way to deal with frustration and it's not the way I want my children to deal with it. (side note:  Lily threw up in her bed the next morning at 4 a.m. from coughing so much....what are the chances?)

The above story to say, when i got the pictures back, I was in a few.  I could barely look at them.  I was tearing myself apart.  Granted, the outfit I chose was not the best, and I'm okay admitting that, but it was not the outfit, it was me.  Immediately I went to my overall look and weight. Well, I need to lose 30 lbs.  That's what would make this all okay.

Nope, it's not what would make it all okay.  Because when the lbs are gone, I still haven't deal with the heart issue of it all.  Do I love the person God created me to be?  When He created me He took delight in what He made?  If my child comes to me and says that they don't like their hands, my first response would be, No.  They are perfect.  They were created for you and they are exactly as intended.  Beautiful.  So, I'm imagining, as I look at myself and think all these negative thoughts, my Father in Heaven is thinking the same thing.  No.  I made those perfect.  I designed them just the way I wanted them to be.  Take delight in my creation.

So I'm trying to connect it all together.  I haven't come to any conclusions besides what habits I want to break for my children.
First, stop seeing other people in terms of weight.  Weight does not determine their success or failure in the world.  And it certainly does not determine their worth.
Second, start seeing myself through the eyes of my Creator.  I know how to eat well.  I know when imbalance is off.  The key isn't working myself into a place where I feel like I'm pleased.  It's being pleased with the design I started out with and learning how to eat the great foods that God created for us to eat (I could start learning to like raw carrots.  It might be tough, but I'll try).
Third, to make sure my girls NEVER see me demean myself because of weight.  I DO NOT want them to demean themselves because of it.  Therefore, i have to model it.

This is such a big concept for me to get, but I'm committed to the refinement.  I'm committed to taking this issue of weight and kicking it to the curb.  And please remember, I'm in no way saying that losing weight is not a good thing.  It's great.  I'm so proud of the accomplishment when people lose weight.  I'm proud of their commitment, dedication, follow-thru, and decision to work hard to get their bodies to a place where it's flowing in a healthy way.  I commend all of that.  I just want to be satisfied with who I am before that process starts.  To know that my Father is pleased with His creation regardless of the 20lbs I'm still carrying around.