Wednesday, August 4, 2010

parenting book

When Eloise was 9-10 months old I had a very distinct conversation with the Lord. I was in deep questioning over whether or not I should read a specific parenting book. It had me in knots. In a very distinct moment, the Lord told me that He would give me the wisdom I needed to parent and that I had enough creativity in my self to do the job. He would lead me. A complete sense of peace washed over me.

Since then, I have avoided parenting books like the plague. Dave helps with that b/c he won't pick up one even if someone paid him. So in our family, we pray for wisdom and often times hope for the best. Lately though, for me, it's been alot of shooting from the hip.

When I read Amanda's review about Have a New Kid by Friday, it caught my attention. After reading some of previous posts struggling with her 4 yr old girl, it sounded like this book had given her some good tips.

So I checked it out from the library.

After reading a few chapters I was encouraged by his very simple approach to parenting. These points have resonated with me:

*Respond, don't react - this is huge for me
*Wait 10 seconds - think about how to deal with this before getting angry
*Say it once, don't give warnings
*ALWAYS follow through on what you say you will do, even if it means YOU lose out on something. (this is so hard for me)
*Be consistent 100% of the time
*Never get angry. If you do, apologize quickly
*Don't do things for you children that they can do for themselves. Allowing them to figure things out gives them the opportunity to learn success or failure without your help. It boosts their confidence.

So back to that part where God told me that I had all I needed to parent and He would lead me. I struggled with that for a couple of days. Was I lacking trust in His leading? I was also contemplating the idea of not giving warnings and saying it only once. In that moment, I looked down at Eloise's Sunday school lesson on the table. It was about King Balthazaar (sp?) in Daniel. There was writing on the wall during a party (of sorts) and they asked Daniel to interpret. The writing said that because this king wasn't worshiping God and obeying Him, if he didn't repent and begin to obey, he would no longer be king. The king chose not to repent and the next day, the king was replaced with a new king. It was such an encouragement reading this simple story. The Lord gave me an excellent example of his discipline. He wasn't angry, He said it once, and He followed through on what He said He was going to do.

I appreciate the calmness that has been restored in my life as I parent my kids. I find that i communicate more with them instead of snapping. I feel a confidence in my parenting that I haven't felt before and I attribute that not only to the book but to the great word that the Lord gave me to that morning.

While I think the title is a bit funny, this book really is a great, easy read. It's very middle of the road, honest, funny and encouraging. It has great tips for parenting that will last well into their high school years. The end of the book is filled with "Ask Dr. Leman" which is his opinion on parenting issues that come up.

There you have it, my second review of the week.


Shelby said...

I need help in many of those areas. ):

I may look into this book. I loved this post. I pray so much in this area and I have respected everything you have mentioned to me as far as trusting God.

Thank you Kate for your post (doesn't bother me how random or mish mash they are...I love them!

AnonyMe said...

I went to your link and got the book from the library, too, Kate. I liked a lot of his points as well, and I struggle with the consistency, too. He is funny, and it is easy to read, but I am still in the midst of it.