Sunday, March 9, 2008

In Memoriam

I was born and raised in a small suburb just south of Seattle. I attended the same grade school, jr. high school and high school. There is a group of girls, 5 of us or so, that did just the same. We played baseball together, some of them played basketball and soccer. Our parents attended all of our games and held parties at their homes. Three of us have our birthday's within a week of each other and celebrated our 30th b-day with our parents, our spouses and kids. So fun.

Upon entering college we decided to room together. Two here, two there, 1 here. Then our sophomore and junior year, we merged and became one big happy family of girls. We cried together, laughed together, got in trouble together, and grew into women together. We've been mad at each other and learned how to reconcile. We are like sister's. There are long stint's of time when we are apart, but we are never far from one another's minds. And always a phone call away.

We were witnesses at each other's weddings and present shortly after the birth's of our children. And now, sadly, present at our parent's funeral's. Just one year ago, one friend lost her father to cancer. This weekend, one lost her mother to cancer. The sad, sad part of this recent passing, not just that it was a mother, but that it was the mother/daughter relationship that was strongest. They looked alike, talked alike, and understood one another better than anyone else.

Her mom developed breast cancer a little over a year ago. She was declared cancer free this December, but in late January it returned with a vengeance. She died on February 26. You can read her journal here.

The memorial service brought to the surface a range of feelings. First, so sad for my friend to no longer have a mother here on earth. She has a 4 yr old and 10 month old. A mother is so helpful and essential during these young years. Second, how evident it was that the Lord was her rock and she always wanted everyone to know that this experience was designed to make her stronger and not to be taken away quickly. Third, that I have a huge responsibility as a mom to pass onto my children a healthy loving relationship. And that for them to learn what it looks like to love me as their mother, I have to model love to my mother. Affection with my family is not my strong point, but I intend to make strides towards learning how to do this better with the Lord leading me each day. Last, her relationship with her husband. What brought me to tears the most, was watching her husband look so lost. That he was now without his other half. He no longer knew what to do in life. ehhh, tears welling right now.

It was incredible to see a woman this young die. As dear friends we talked about how this just isn't right. We shouldn't be losing our parents now. And sadly, some talked of how they expect to get cancer. They just hope it's the right kind. The kind that is curable. Isn't that sad. I don't know what is going to take me down, but I do know that I want to praise the Lord doing it. This woman did. You knew without a doubt, the Lord was her guide.

Please pray for her daughter and my dear friend Stephanie. There is a giant hole in her heart. She has lost her closest companion and her faithful friend.


Katie said...

I am tearing up reading this. I'll definitely be praying for you and your friend. I love that you have this relationship with these women, modeling that to your daughters will also be important.

Anonymous said...

great big tears Kate. I will pray for them. You will set a wonderful example for you children! I'm sure of it.


Anonymous said...

Oh Kate...

I have just completed reading Mary's website and I am in a flood of tears. What a wonderful woman she seemed to be. Please let your friend know that she has a Texan out there praying for comfort and peace to be with her. Great big hugs to her and her family.