Sunday, April 18, 2010

THAT question

Today was a wonderful day, until I was asked the question. You know, THE question.

"So, when is your baby due?"

Yep, standing in the grocery store with Eloise.

At first, I looked around, to see if she was talking to someone else. Then I think, is Sam with me, is he due for something.

Gasp! She's asking ME!!!

I quickly said, "Oh, I'm not pregnant, I have a small baby though". And then I continue to stumble over my words as if to explain away the ever present, will-never-go-away-unless-I-get-a-tummy-tuck belly. I'm caught between that conundrum of making the person feel better about their insensitive question and feeling mortified that I'm wearing a shirt that might remotely give off the idea that I'm with child.

I should mention here that I don't even get asked if I'm pregnant until I'm at least 6 months pregnant with an ACTUAL baby.

All this comes on the heals of an intense struggle with self-image. Something I thought only teenagers dealt with. (more on that later) It's good for motivation, but not for healthy perspective.

So there you have it. My first time being asked if I'm pregnant when I'm not. And in case you're wondering, the shirt is already in the donation pile.


Kate said...

oh Kate!!! Seriously - you are WAY nicer that I would have been. That person needs a lesson on pragmatics and social rules. I love you and I bet you look great!

Anonymous said...

I SOOOO feel for you... I was getting a drink at Starbucks with Che (he was probably 3 months old) and the barista said, 'How are you today?... or should I say how are both of you today?....Oh wait, how are all 3 of you today?" I think I shoulda gotten a free drink for that one. Instead, I just pretended to be pregnant instead of having to admit that I wasn't. You are beautiful inside and out - even when you feel like you aren't. Take it from me - I have great taste.

TcH said...

Im so sorry Kate!!! that lady must be nuts!! last time I saw you I actually thought to myself "wow, she looks so good."
Im sorry friend :-(

Angela said...

Welcome. It's a small club, but we are very supportive of each other.

I actually had a woman start to argue with me when I told her I was not pregnant. She didn't stop until I pointed to the newborn baby in the stroller next to me.

But you already know all my stories...

And please note that it's never a man who makes does this. Only women. Men are way too aware of where a comment like this could take them.

Jenny said...

I was thinking the same thing as T. You're looking great, Kate. That lady doesn't know what she was talking about. She must have been blind!!!
Sorry that happened. ((hugs))

Shelby said...

Blech. I'm sorry but some people just don't have much tact. Yes, you are way nicer than I would have been.

amanda said...

ouch. i know one day i will be a member of this fun at all. and even though i can't "see" you i am pretty sure you look great!

The Horne's said...

I'm so sorry - I always try to be sensitive. Sometimes, it's painfully obvious that a girl is pregnant, but I just can't ask, just in case she's not.
Yeah I'm 7 months and still havent' had a stranger ask me about my baby being due, or anyone touch my belly, or anything. So i walk around feeling like everyone thinks I'm just fat. :-(