Tuesday, January 20, 2009

the mall....arghhh!

I would like to go to the mall and avoid these three questions:

1. Are you satisfied with your cell service?

2. Can I ask you a question?

3. Would you like to try this hand lotion or body massager?

The mall has become and obstacle course of questions for those tiny little selling kiosk's. I feel like I have to be a cold-hearted woman just to get through the mall without inquiries into every area of my life, including my hair!

And now there is that crazy guy smoking a fake cigarette. Have you all seen him? It looks like a real cigarette and even blows some type of smoke or steam. I'll give him props, he's trying to get people to quit smoking, but it's just another distraction in an already unpredictable trip for a mom.

Here's my responses to the questions:

1. I am satisfied. But if you're willing to give me a free phone and the exact same service for $20 less a month, I'll take it.

2. No you cannot ask me a question. I know you want to know why I don't straighten my curly hair, but really, is it not okay to have curly hair? I just didn't want to take the extra time today to do it and can't you see it's raining outside, every curly haired woman's arch nemesis. And don't act like you want to have a conversation with me. Can you see I have children? And they have a lollipop in their mouth. I only have until this thing is done and them I'm done. Stop distracting me from my mission.

3. If I wanted to buy your body product, I would just walk up to you and buy it. And if it was really good, I would see it in Sephora or some other beauty store. Face it, the product might not be that good if you are slumming for people in the mall.

I love the Tupperware lady. She sits and reads and knows she has a reliable, long standing product that will sell itself. She smiles and will offer to kindly move off her stool if you are actually interested in buying the product. That's the way the mall should be.

Will someone please pass on the memo to these people that you do not talk to moms with small children in a stroller or small children within a 15 ft radius of them. They don't have time. They are streamlined, efficient and ready to get on with it and these sales people are just slowing them down.


Jodi said...

Preach it sister!

And while I'm walking away, don't yell things at me like, "Hey come back here!" or "Hey lady, don't walk away!"

If you don't have the decency to speak respectfully to women, any chance you had at my money has now eternally flown out the window.

RachelC said...

Well put Kate! Perhaps we should print that out and give it to those annoying people!

LDraper said...

I always tell the cell phone people that I'll stop and talk to them if they'll give me an Iphone and lifetime unlimited service for free. Shockingly, I've never had to stop. :)

And... I'd like to add this--- if it looks like I'm walking (near running) with a very determined look on my face, then the chances of me stopping are zero to none. Don't waste your breath. The next time you see me strolling through the mall, with a calm smile on my face, feel free to ask darn near anything. I'd probably like to have an adult conversation. Otherwise, let me run.

Thanks for the laugh today, Kate!

TcH said...

THANK YOU on #3! My thoughts exactly!!!! If I WANT IT I WILL LET YOU KNOW.

AMEN!!!! OH MY WORD Nate and I were just talking about this the other day. The lower level of the mall is HORRID. In fact the other day I was wearing a HAT and some chick asked to do my hair. Oh yea, let me take my hat off for you. I just rolled my eyes and said "Ummmm, NO!" You know the look and the tone of voice I had, right Kate? ;-)

Nate has a new trick, he acts like he is talking on his cell phone as we walk through there. It works. They leave him alone. ha ha ha.

I am honestly thinking of talking to the mall management. It is HORRENDOUS there now, and it's so CHEESY. Totally what you would find at some white trash low end mall. ick!

The fake cig cracks me up. I like how you described it.

aimee said...

Love you! And you are bang on!

Bekah said...

I totally agree!

On a related note, I was practically running from the grocery store to my car the other day, with my 4 year old and baby (after we had just run back into the store for an emergency potty stop), and this creepy guy yells, "Hey! Hey! Do you have any change?" Wow! I rolled my eyes and shook my head and kept running. Why would he even bother to ask? Didn't I look a little busy? Did he think I was going to be so disctracted I'd just throw money at him or something? Weirdo.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was funny the other day when a guy said "Can I ask you a question". I had to be rude and say NO. Of course he could ask me a question he just did. They are annoying. Thank you Kate for letting me vent just a bit. It was great to see you today.
Brenda L

Dena said...

great great stuff. seems to be the same thoughts I have after driving away from there.

I usually pretend to be on my phone when I walk past them, but some of them have caught on to that trick and will STILL try to get your attention! PSH!